You have to have a dream...

"you have to have a dream,
if you don't have a dream,
how you gonna have a dream come true?"

Over the last few years there has been a lot of writing regarding "The Law of Attraction". It doesn't matter if you believe the principle or if you view it as metaphysical garbage. If you don't set goals and have a direction to head then all you do is wander.

I have always believed that staying true to yourself will help you find your path. It is amazing that dreams can remain in the deepest corner of your heart. Then one day you turn around and someone has found the way to shine the light on that dream and allow it it finally bloom.

Comfort Zones

Comfort zones and routines are a way of avoiding vulnerabilities. Most the time it is easier to stay in one place versus opening yourself up to your demons. The risk of admitting that you are scared to rely on another person can be terrifying. Isolationism can become the cape we wrap around us to protect from the fears of rejection and abandonment.

It is only by showing our weaknesses that we are also able to show our strengths. It is by removing our capes that we can allow situations to help us grow. It is also the only way that we can take those chances to connect with our fellow man.

This is how we enter the cosmic connection of love in the universe.


(Please forgive the ramblings that caused me to wake up at 4am but needed to be voiced)

Long time silent

It has bothered me that I have refrained from blogging for a very long time. I still harbor guilt over the fact I never finished blogging about my second trip to Israel. RCG was such a great host and we had a great time. I am very grateful for the opportunities that my friendship allows for traveling to visit her.

Back in February I was blessed with the chance to go see Miss Nancy Wilson (www.missnancywilson.com). I was raised around incredible music from the 60's and 70's. One of my favorite LP's, which I still own (and have no way to play), is a 1970's release entitled "Can't take my Eyes Off of You". So when the rare appearance at Yoshi's in Oakland (www.yoshis.com) was announced in December I decided that would be my birthday present to myself.

My good friends KT and TT traveled out to Oakland and we all had dinner at Yoshi's and then saw the concert. But it was during the second show that I stayed and was chatting with the gal at my table that I realized a few things. One that life is short. Another that love is always worth the risk to your heart. That even if "Never Will I Marry" has been my theme song that someone can come along and remind me how love can resonate in the heart.

Moving plans

Well I have finally decided to get my own place here in town. I have confirmation that I will be in town for at least a year and it is coming around to needing this change. That being said - I hate boxing up and moving. I did it so much as I was growing up that there is a real anxiety to it. And yet I don't mind being a gypsy. I think my issue currently is that this is not a move for work (as have been my previous moves) but this is a move for me personally. I feel like I have done some of what I needed to do over the last three years but am now stagnating. Living under a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that makes the military's policy seem like a cake walk has finally started to take it's toll. Don't get me wrong, I have loved being with family and do not have a problem with being respectful and honoring the "traditional values" of my home environment. I also will concede that I have pushed some of these boundaries a time or two.

But now the lease is signed and the first month rent paid. I pick up the keys tomorrow and will begin the moving process. My dear friend PD has made it very clear that she is available to assist me on Friday for which I am very grateful. I am taking an approach to this move that should allow me to try and do this gradually versus all at once. We will see how the week and the holiday weekend (plus taking Friday off) will impact this move. It may go faster then I suppose.

Must follow up with my friends about getting their extra washer and dryer...

Who wouldn't want a new laptop

I have tried in the past to say that I am not a techno-geek. Not that there is anything wrong with being a geek or even a techno-geek. But truth be told I do work on a technology help desk, play WoW and have a desk top computer and a laptop. I seem to travel with more electronics then other items when heading to the airport. All of that aside - I did not order a new laptop.

This morning I received an alert email saying I had a charge over a specified limit that was processed on my account. As I waited on perma-hold for an answer from the merchant I managed to find another number for the company (thanks RCG for the moral support and suggestions while I waited). I finally found out that an online account had been created using an email address that is not mine and a thinkpad was ordered on MY card and delivered to MY address today.
** I DO NOT NEED A NEW LAPTOP ** Or do I? My laptop is 18 months old after all :)
I have managed to get a hold of the company and report it. They sent me a UPS label via my valid email account and I have delivered the box to the UPS Store to be retired. I did not open the box and temp myself - after all it was under $1000 and it would be smaller then my current laptop and and and - whew dodged that one!

They suspect that it was a fraud racket that someone would then come to pick up the package and "return it to the company" only to route it away. Well I have it returning to the client and have disputed the charge. I will then either get a replacement card or close that account all together. There hasn't been any activity on the account in six months.

I knew that those account watching systems were a smart move but I never thought it would come in this handy. What if the package had not been delivered to me?
Well at least that is behind me and I can continue to decide if I really need that settee...

Heading Home

I have to give a very big thank you to RCG. I have had a wonderful visit this time. Israel is a beautiful country and I have only seen a small portion of it.

I still have to blog about visiting Jerusalem and Bethlehem. My last weekend was filled with Haifa, Rosh HaNikra and the Dead Sea. I have had a great opportunity to visit some beautiful monasteries and ruins and places from history.

It has been wonderful visit with great weather and even some thundershowers. In some ways I am ready to go home but at the same time I really have loved this place. Thanks again RCG, because of you I have been able to visit this land twice.

Tel Aviv / Jaffa

This morning I woke up with thoughts of only needing to do some laundry at some point. Then I was invited to take a taxi into town and have lunch with my host. So I quickly put myself together and followed her instructions. I arrived in town with about ten minutes to wait before we walked up to have a pita.

After lunch I walked over through the Carmel Market and then managed to get myself lost from the street I was looking for. So I headed towards the coast as I could always just head to Jaffa. And that's what I did - walked along the beach next to the pounding waves.

When I reached Jaffa and was looking forward to visiting St. Peter's Church (which has a monastery next to it). However once at the top the church was closed up. So I wandered around this ancient port city. I was amazed at the ruins that date pack to Ancient Egyptian times and the scope of history that is associated here.

As I walked back to the center of Old Jaffa there was a tour group that was waiting to go in the church. I had been there long enough to still be able to see inside this building. I can not begin to fully describe how neat this church was. The pulpit was carved to look like a tree. All I could think of was the Tree of Knowledge and the lessons that came from that place. Here is a website that has some better photos when you click on the gallery section: http://www.btlr.com/sp/index.php.

I then walked back to the Embassy and waited for RCG to get off work before we headed home for the evening. The best part was finding the text message from her to have me confirm my tour for tomorrow. So it seems I am off to Jerusalem and Bethlehem in the morning.