Points along the beach and lessons from a shell

So I have been feeling guilty that I seemed to just hang around here today and not be very productive. I decided that since I was on vacation I could relax and that was simply ok as well. There is nothing wrong with relaxing even if you flew half way around the world to do it.

So I decided that the least I could do was go for a walk. Yeah - take some pictures, read a book, meditate a little while walking and listen to music and and and and..... What happened to walking?

So I took my camera (the guys did ask for pictures and it would be nice) and my book and turned on a nice mellow instrumental piece by Parijat. I am ready to walk and not get killed, read some and take pictures and away I go. What happened to relaxing?

I walked down to the beach and half read but let my mind wander with the book. I thought about forgiveness. I thought a lot about forgiveness. About forgiving oneself and releasing the expectations we force upon our that most critical person we all know - the one in the mirror.

I wrote a bunch of blog worthy things on my way. I snapped away on the camera. I thought about how good it was to get out and walk. I stopped and saw a beautiful shell. Now I know that there are shells all over the world and that this one is really not that special. But it is special to me. It is special because it made me stop...and watch the beach...and watched the waves... and think about the tides... and watch the shells... and watch the waves break on the rocks...and breathe with the waves...and smile at the little waves receding back to the sea.

Suddenly I was doing what I came down to do. I was relaxing with the music and thinking about why I really came to the beach. I was able to smile and laugh with myself. I forgave myself for being demanding. I forgave myself for only thinking about if I walk I get "x" number of exercise points. I forgave myself for not really following Weight Watchers for almost a year.

I also gave myself permission to live in the moment. It is ok to keep with Weight Watchers and work on it as I go. Each picture is for me and for what I was going through. So I will post a bunch of pictures on Facebook and it doesn't matter what they mean to anyone.

There is one that means the most to me. For this little shell and it's friends made me stop and wait. The waves did finally wash over the shells and I actually was able to take the picture I had hoped to get. But even more important, it made me realize that I must take the time to see all things and not just run to the goal. We always talk about the journey and the mile markers along the way as being the most important part ot the trip. The goal is great but the journey reminds us why we do it and how we do it. The weight I have put back on has reminded me that I can not forget to be mindful of why I eat (emotional or otherwise). I must also be mindful of the other quests in my heart for balance in all things.

Sometimes a lowly shell can me the most profound messenger. I must remember to also take my time with things and forgive myself as I go. I have picked up the little shells to go with me back home and hopefully remind me to take the time I need in all things. Even as I quickly walked home (as RCG will be home soon) I actually was able to follow along the mindful breathing exercises versus just run through the steps and let my mind wander on to other issues.